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Michelle's Story

With permission from Michelle...
I fell pregnant the first month of trying for my first baby. I had wanted to be pregnant so badly for about a year, but we had a lot of work to do to our house and waited til that was finished, so it was the best news I could ever have when I got the positive test. I knew even before my period was due that I was pregnant. I felt so queasy and my sense of smell went through the roof, even before I did the test. I just put up with the nausea thinking it was normal, until the vomiting started two weeks later (at about 8 weeks) Again, I just put it down to normal morning sickness, and so began the cycle of ginger, acupressure bands and any other remedy people recommended, to try to ease it. I finally got desperate at 11 weeks when I couldnt even keep really bland food down and went to the doctor. He prescribed me some travel sickness pills. I asked him about the risk to the baby and he said he couldnt guarantee there was no risk, so I decided I would try to wait until after 16 weeks when the baby should have formed most of it's main body parts (I had an aunt who had hyperemesis and was given Thalidomide so I was very wary of drugs) I tried to cope for another three weeks, then admitted defeat and tried the tablets but they were jsut being vomitted back up with everything else so I went back to the doctor. He found out I had only just started taking them and called me 'a stupid girl' saying I had probably harmed myself and the baby. He admitted me to hospital, saying I had high levels of ketones, meaning my body had started to break down muscle stores and I was at risk of liver and kidney damage. When I got to the hospital, they told me they would need to insert a drip, but they struggled to get a vein, because I had lost nearly two stone in weight and have very thin veins anyway. I spent four days on the drip and was given vitamin B6 and iron to try to build up my strength. I got discharged the day before my sister's wedding, which was lucky because I was her bridesmaid, but it was such a struggle because the drugs they sent me out with did not stop the vomiting and I was sick four times after the ceremony. (Incidently I dared not eat before the church in case I was sick and ruined the ceremony) When I got back to work I was called into the managers office and told I was unreliable, that his opinion was that I had used morning sickness as an excuse to get time off and told I would not be welcome back after the baby was born. I was so angry I burst into tears. I had shown him my discharge notes so he could see I had been in hospital but it didnt seem to matter. I put up with the sickness and just tried to rest as much as I could when I was at home but work became a cycle of trying to hide the vomiting by running to the toilet every half an hour or so. Luckily I managed to cope without further intervention and my daughter was born a healthy 8lb 8oz.The second and third pregnancies were progressively worse. By this time, we were having problems with my daughter at school and I was constantly being told by the teachers that she was wilful and we would have to pull her into line. I was so exhausted, my husband worked long shifts and I had to cope with the housework, school run and cooking pretty much alone, although when he wasn't at work my husband would try to do it all. I remember feeling suicidal and guilty because (with all three pregnancies) I had considered abortion. But I told myself that those babies could not help what was happening to me, and they were very much wanted (contrary to what some medical studies would have you believe I was not subconsiously rejecting my babies and felt very angry that some medical professionals held this as a possible theory to why hyperemesis happened) I was hospitalised twice for severe dehydration and ended up with a kidney infection, but thankfully still managed to give birth to my second daughter normally at a weight of 8lb 10oz. My son's pregnancy was hardest. I had two young kids to get to school and nursery and my husband shifts were longer and I became so depressed and disconnected. Our relationship was hit hard and it is only now that we are recovering from that. I hope there is a way to get more help for this, because it is something which takes a long time to fully recover from, emotionally and physically, although you can recover and lead a normal life.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, what a story! I'm so glad you're posting people's stories! I know HG mums love to compare stories.

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  2. That's some tough times you had there! Just read your story and I was quite emotional by the end of it. Hope you and your family are doing well now. Thanks for sharing your inner most self. I wish you all the best!

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